Shabby Miss Jenn

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

I Think He Won Today

Look at those sweet, little eyes...

Look at that adorable face....

Is that not the cutest little boy you have ever seen?

How is it then that at the end of today he has left me feeling like the worst mommy ever??  This little dude knows how to push my buttons and today he smashed them over and over and over!

Early this morning:

Me:  Harrison it's time to go to school.

H:  I don't wanna go right now. (said in uber-whiney voice.)

Later in the day:

H:  Liza put that down.  You can't play with that.  That is mine. ( Said about a toy he wasn't even playing with.)

Liza:  I wanna hold it.

H:  Give it back.  It's miiinnnee.  (said chasing her around and around the kitchen island.)

Me: Stop chasing your sister! ( circling around the island continues)

Me:  Harrison, you aren't listening to mommy.  Time out!  Go sit on the steps.

H:  But it's minnne.  Why does she get to play with it??? (I couldn't take it anymore so I closed the door to the stairs.  He sat there still wondering why Liza got his toy.)

Even later in the day:

Me:  Harrison, you and Liza need to pick up the toys before basketball practice.

H:  I don't wanna clean up.  Why do I always have to clean up.  I need help.  I can't do it.  I'm tired.....

Right before b-ball practice:

Me:  Harrison, I asked you to get your shoes on.  They're still not on.  Go and get your shoes on now.  Hurry, we're going to be late. ( Harrison slowly walks around looking for his shoes.)

Me again:  Harrison, I said to hurry.  We need to leave now.

H:  But I might slip in my socks and fall.  (Since when has the kid worried about slipping and sliding on our hardwood floors??!!)

Sad to say it, but this is just a small fraction of all the run ins that me and Mr. Harrison had today.  Do you ever feel like it all just snowballs up on you??  I am sure by the end of the day the kid was wondering how on earth to get out of this cycle.  Sheesh!  I was too!

By b-ball practice time my shoulders were tight, my head was killing me and I still had four kiddos to get in the car and to practice.  Then, I had to act all happy go lucky and entertain 10 kindergarten boys and 10 first/second graders.  Oh my gosh!  Am I crazy or what??

Okay, so practice ended up being a good thing.  I got to play ball and just have fun with the kids.  Sometimes, at home I lose the fun part for all the picking up, cooking, cleaning,etc.  So, b-ball was good.

Then on the way home I tried to figure why the day seemed to go from bad to worse.  Then I realized it or at least part of it.  I think that sometimes motherhood can be absolutely defeating.  Today was one of those days where they got the best of me.  When I was a teacher I felt in control.  I was acknowledged for being good at what I did.  My students liked me (for the most part).  And, I had plenty of teacher friends to chat with when I needed a grown up moment.  

Today, I was in the car back and forth a gazillion times.  My schedule was pretty much driven by who needed to be where and when- not much choice or control in the comings and goings today.  

I absolutely, positively did not get told that I did good at anything today.  I think the kiddos thought I really stunk today.  In fact, I got told I was mean.  So, in addition to thinking I was mean, they probably would argue if any of my old students tried to tell them that they actually liked me!

And last, but not least, the only adult I chatted with was my friend and neighbor who came to drop something off.  Thank heavens for neighbors who can drop by.  Even the sighting of an adult can be exciting when you are surrounded by kids all day!

So, all in all, it was a kind of dreadful day.  However, as I told Harrison tonight as I was putting him in bed,  years ago, I prayed that God would send me a another baby.  God did send me a baby, not just any baby, but a Harrison baby.  He sent Harrison to me because he thought I would be the best mommy for him ( and Ed the best Daddy of course!) AND he sent me Harrison because he would be the best boy for me.  I know there are lessons in here for me and lessons for my little Harrison.  Right now we are obviously going through a series of lessons because we must not be "getting it" yet.  But, we will.  Tomorrow is another day where we will start fresh!  Perhaps tomorrow I won't feel like he beat me but rather we will both be winners.

1 comment:

Lisa said...

Oh, I hear ya! As a former elementary teacher turned SAHM, I can so relate. Sounds like days I've had with my 4 kids. So you are definitely not alone. There are days when I think maybe Mommy should have a time out. :)